Advent Calendar
by embracetheweird
Summary: My response to Hades Lord of the Dead's December advent calendar challenge. Expect fun, christmassy randomness and whatever else my brain comes up with
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! This is my response to the brilliant advent calender challenge by Hades Lord of the Dead. **

**Prompt from MadamGiry25- Rose Petals**

"Well you did say that we have much to hope from flowers"

"That doesn't mean" cried Holmes flinging down the bunch of flowers mrs Hudson had managed to thrust into his arms "that she can invade our rooms and ambush us with her floral ammunition"

"Come on Holmes," I said "its not that bad. And they do make the room look nicer if maybe a bit colourful."

"And feminine! Its good enough of me to let her tidy up!"

I shook my head and tried to console him. "They won't be here forever. They'll have to die eventually."

He shrugged and retrieved his pipe starting to smoke as mrs hudson entered.

"Mr Holmes!" She shrieked "what do you think you're doing?!"

We both turned and looked at her in confusion.

"You are going to kill my plants with all those toxic fumes you insist on polluting the air with!"

And with that mrs Hudson strode forward snatching the pipe from between his lips and stalking over to his persian slipper which she confiscated guiltlessly.

He watched with horror as his precious tobacco was enslaved in our landlady's pocket and watched, his mouth hanging open, as she strode out the room.

Holmes eye started to twitch.

"Holmes, calm down! This is only temporary!"

"She can come in here and disrupt me, she can smother my poor rooms with her decorative, feminine touch but nobody, I repeat, NOBODY deprives me of my pipe."

I slowly backed away and left, full of apprehension of what he might do to get his tobacco back, the wild, mad glint in his eye scaring me.

I think it must have scared Mrs Hudson, too, because on my return, I found baker street restored to its former self, pipe and persian slipper included, and not so much as a rose petal in sight.


	2. How much do you want to bet

**Thank you everyone who has reviewed! They made me very happy!**

**Prompt from MadamGiry25- "how much do you want to bet..."**

"It's quite obvious, brother mine, that she is married"

"Well I disagree. she is not married and she has consulted a doctor over her health, something, I see, that you failed to notice... "

Sherlock huffed exasperatedly at his brother

"But Mycroft, isn't it quite plain by..."

"Sherlock, don't waste your precious time trying to explain to me something that is not true! Anyone can see that she is..."

I cleared my throat "May I see if I can deduce anything."

Both Holmes' turned around and looked at me, identical expressions of surprise etched on their faces. I think they had forgotten I was there.

"Of course" Mycroft said

I moved closer to the window and said:"she is married with one child, has visited a doctor recently though not for her own health, her initials are J.C. and she likes animals"

"How do you know all that?"

I shrugged "I will bet 5 guineas that I'm right"

"Fine" Mycroft replied "10 guineas. How much do you want to bet, brother mine?"

Sherlock stared at me with that piercing gaze of his and finally said: " 10"

After having sent for the woman in question, we all sat smirking at the other two. She soon came up and we all sat expectantly waiting to see who was right.

In answer to our questions, she claimed that she was married, had one daughter, had consulted a doctor but not for her own health, was fond of animals and her name was Janet Cooper.

Both brothers stared at me in shock.

"I believe that was 20 guineas in total" I said smirking.

As they searched for their money, Mycroft asked: "How did you know all that? I still can't see how you worked it all out?"

"Well" "I said "it was so simple that I am having difficulty explaining it. You see, its like one add one: you know it's two but its difficult to explain why. I suppose it is just my superior intellect,"

Sherlock snorted earning a rather dissaproving look from his brother.

"Anyway, pay up!"

As Mycroft put down his money in front of me and Sherlock leaned over to put his down as well, I said:

"It might also have been because I happen to know her."


	3. Christmas tree

**Prompt from Rockztar: Holmes and Watson are looking for a Christmas tree, but on the way, something happens...**

"This is ridiculous! Whoever heard of putting a tree inside ones house and hanging little decorations off of it!"

"Well whoever heard of decorating the wall with bullet holes?!" I retorted

"The devoted readers of the strand, no doubt"

"We are getting a Christmas tree, Holmes and I don't care what you say!"

I thumped my cane against the ground decisively causing it to slide on the thin ice, and with a cry, my feet went from under me and I crashed to the floor, landing in a ridiculous sitting position, my legs splayed out in front of me.

"Watson!" Holmes ran forward to help me when with a yell he fell down besides me in exactly the same position as I had.

We both sat, like oversized dolls, for a moment before the absurdity of the situation sunk in and we both started laughing loudly, earning a few strange looks from passersby.

I'm not surprised people started to make long detours away from us, it's not everyday that you see two full grown men sitting on the floor in the middle of winter laughing cheerfully, and perhaps a bit manically, as if there was nothing strange about it at all.

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	4. Christmas tree 2

**A continuation of my last one because I wanted to.**

"Holmes, this is entirely your fault! What are my patients going to think?!"

"It is not my fault we're stuck in this prison cell for the rest of the night, you shouldn't have fell over."

"I wasn't the one who started laughing like a maniac and scaring those poor pedestrians so much they went and told the police!"

"You were laughing just as much as I was," he retorted "and anyway it didn't help that he obviously thought us intoxicated!"

"Only because we couldn't get up,"

"Or stop laughing..."

I gave him a stern look: "Holmes this is not funny!"

He snickered in response: "and then once he finally got us up, you fell over again!"

This started a new wave of laughter from my friend and I sighed, shaking my head.

This was going to be a _very_ long night.

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	5. Holmes-less

Hey everyone! I'm in a really good mood which is sorta clashing with this because it's quite angsty. Its the first of its type I have done but hopefully its ok. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed: you're all great!

Prompt from Poseidon God of the Seas- Holmes-less

It's all there. Everything, as it should be. A fine layer of dust is the only indicator that anything is amiss.

Everything is untouched, he almost expects to see...

But he knows that won't happen, not now, not ever.

His stradivarius is still in its case, such a waste of such a beautiful instrument, it seems sad that its music has forever ceased, just like its player...

He chokes back a sob when he sees his assortment of pipes on the mantle. He can clearly see, imagine, him standing there, leaning against it, a pipe in his hand as he explains how he has figured out the unsolvable.

It seems so vivid, so real.

Sitting in his own chair, looking across at the once filled space. He can't believe it. He can't be gone.

But he is.

Forever.

And never will he see him again, talk to him, laugh with him. Never will he force him to eat, to sleep or accompany him on his many cases.

And never will he have a more dear friend.


	6. Evergreen

**So yeah, this is a bit late but I've been busy and this one was really hard to do. I wasn't sure what to do at all but I finally thought of something!**

**Prompt from I'm Nova- Evergreen**

When John Watson sees evergreen plants he does not think of christmas. He thinks of sorrow, of death.

For some reason, he has always hated the things. Hates the way they seem to defy nature.

Why do they keep their colour, their leaves?

Why do they live through winter when so many do not?

It seems a cruel jest of nature. All those poor people who don't stand a chance, he should know he_ is _a doctor. When they come to him and he can see it is too late but tries to save them anyway or when he is out walking and there is so much suffering, pain.

And then those trees with their green leaves mock him, taunt him.

And it seems so sad, such a waste that all these lives should be ended and a useless, unfeeling, uncaring plant should not even be affected.

He really does detest those trees.

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	7. fruitcake

**prompt from ImaLateBloomer- fruitcake**

Thourouly soaked and ravenously hungry, I stumbled into baker street near knocking Mrs Hudson over in my haste to get inside.

"My apologies Mrs Hudson, I..."

She cut me off. "Doctor, you're soaked to the skin! Go on up and get dry before you catch your death of cold and I'll bring up that fruitcake I promised you earlier."

"That would be wonderful!" I replied looking forward to a nice relaxing evening in my chair by the fire and with my fruitcake.

Mrs Hudson soon brought up the cake and my eyes followed it as it travelled across the room towards me.

I contemplated what part I should eat first and finally after deciding I picked the piece up and brought it closer to my mouth.

It looked so irresistibly delicious and the smell of the fresh bread made my mouth water. I could almost taste its sweet divinity, the succulent fruit so heavenly...

"Watson!"

The door flew open with a bang and I dropped the piece in my hand without even taking one bite.

"Watson, hurry up and come on!"

"Holmes, can't I just finish eating..."

"This is not a time for food or other such nonsense Watson!"

He flung my hat and coat at me and I stood up looking wistfully back at the untouched desert.

"Can't I just have one bite?"

"Watson, do stop complaining!" He said dragging me unwillingly out of the door and away from my beloved my eyes never straying from it until he slammed the door in my face.

"Holmes, I... That was unforgivable!"

"Hm" he wasn't even listening to me!

"How could you do such a thing?!" I cried

"With ease, I assure you"

"That was low Holmes, low! Even for you!"

"Yes, I'm sure it was. Now, will you keep walking and cease your whining! And no, you can't outrun me so don't bother trying."

I sighed in resignation, my plan of escape having failed, and followed.

It seemed that a reunion between the fruitcake and I was destined for another night.

**Poor Watson! Will he ever be reunited with his beloved fruitcake? **

**Everyone who has reviewed: you're great and I love you all!**

**If you wanna be one of those great people then Review!**


	8. fire

**I had no idea what to write for this: I've been a bit low on inspiration, which is why it is so small. The next shall be better to make up for it.**

**Prompt from madameGiry25- if you play with fire, you'll get burned sooner or later. If only Sebastian Moran knew how true this was**...

Smoke swirled high into the night sky, as his victims house was engulfed in flames.

It wasn't his usual style, not at all, but he had made a crucial mistake.

The evidence must be destroyed and this was the most thorough way.

It wasn't like him to leave discriminating verification of his assassinations but he's not infallible!

No matter, it is of no consequence now.

He laughs, another job well done!

He's too busy marvelling in his own glory that he doesn't notice the flame that flicks towards him setting fire to the tails of his coat.

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	9. Mrs Hudsons beau

**Sorry for the late update but I have been dead to the** **world for the last couple of days and now I'm kinda better though the weather over here in Liverpool doesn't help matters...**

**Anyway, thank you to everyone who has reviewed or followed or anything! And enjoy!**

**Prompt from Spockoligist- Mrs Hudson has a secret beau**

"You seem happy, Mrs Hudson" Watson remarked as she skipped around tidying. She hummed a joyful tune to herself and beamed at no one in particular.

"I think that is rather obvious" a voice drawled from the direction of the couch, "as is the reason for it"

"What? What have I missed?"

"Nothing. Nothing but a number of indications that you failed to observe. Very unlike you, Watson! The fairer sex is your domain, is it not?"

"Stop tormenting the poor doctor, Mr Holmes! Besides, you should not know of it anyway. Not that I mind, but it is not very proper for a gentleman such as yourself to go prying about others affairs"

Her tone was serious but her eyes glinted with mischief.

"Trust me, my dear lady, I had no intention of finding out."

She smiled fondly, "I'm sure you didn't. Oh, there's the door!" And she left all too eagerly to answer it.

Holmes walked over to the window, watching as his housekeeper conversed with the visitor

"We will have to keep an eye on him, Watson," he said "he's seems a decent sort and from what I have found out about him he appears to be fine but we can never be too sure,"

Still confused, Watson joined his friend at the window.

" I don't understand. Who is he?"

"_He _calls each day, sometimes with a bouquet of flowers or other nonsense. Our dear landlady is more cheerful than is normal and was overly excited by the fact someone was at the door. What do you make of it?"

It suddenly dawned on Watson. "You mean...?"

"That's right" Holmes said with a nod "that gentleman down there is Mrs Hudson's, formerly secret, beau."

"And how do you know about that?"

"I am not blind Watson, nor am I an idiot. It was only too transparent."

Watson decided to ignore the fact he had been indirectly, if unintentionally, insulted.

"I think I will have a talk with him, what do you say Watson? Care to join me?"

"Holmes, I don't think that is necessary, you'll scare him away"

"If I manage to do so then I will only be proving that he wasn't worth any of our times"

"Why so protective? Do you care for Mrs Hudson?"

"Don't be ridiculous Watson! If she is in a bad mood then we shall all suffer!"

"Strange, that's like when you're in one of yours."

"You're not the most agreeable of people when you're annoyed either!"

"...come sit in here, I'm sure they won't mind,"

Both men froze and spun around on their heels as Mrs Hudson led up the object of their scrutiny.

After introductions, Mrs Hudson skipped of to make tea leaving the three men in a rather awkward silence.

"So," said the man, making a brave attempt at conversation "you're mr Sherlock Holmes the detective?

Holmes nodded curtly

"The private consulting detective?"

Pleased, Holmes looked up, and with a quirk of his lips graced the visitor with an answer "yes"

"I read about your cases all of the time, they fascinate me. The way you solve them is ingenious, if you ask me. And I do believe you have written a number of monographs. I have took the time to read a few of them and took great pleasure in doing so."

Flattered and pleased, Holmes passed the time discussing various topics from deduction to tobacco ash with the man and the two got on very well. When it was time for him to leave, they were on good, friendly terms much to the relief of Watson.

Holmes shook his hand and walked him to the door.

And just as the man went to leave, Holmes swung his cane in front of him effectively stopping him.

Every trace of good humour had flew from his face and he glared down at the man in the most intimidating way possible. Bending down, he whispered something in the mans ear which made him turn white and start nodding and stuttering out words.

Holmes straightened and, with a smile, he removed his cane and the man flew from the room.

"Holmes! What did you say?"

Nothing of importance, Watson. Nothing of importance,"

They never did see him again.

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	10. explosion

**Hello lovely readers! I shall soon be back on track, hurray! And all my lovely reviewer people, you are the best! I love you all! **

**Btw, because I have a strange obsession with numbers, today is the 12/12/12! I'm sure you are all aware of that but this will probably be the last time that any of us shall be alive during a repetative date! I find that really strange.**

**Anyway, I shall shut up now so you can read.**

**Prompt from mrspencil- something explodes**

"Holmes, what ever are you doing?" Watson asked observing his friend curiously as he moved the furniture about

"Changing things around a bit, is all"

"But why? You liked it how it was,"

"Yes, well..." Holmes said "I have tired of it and would like a change"

Watson raised his eyebrows in disbelief "Really?"

Holmes nodded his head "why else?"

"Are you sure," Watson asked "that is has nothing to do with that small explosion that Mrs Hudson and I heard before? Are you sure that it didn't result in you reorganising the room?"

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"You must have heard it, I think the whole of Baker street heard it."

He shook his head: "Haven't heard a thing,"

"Well that's strange" remarked Watson "but no matter. Holmes, I hope you won't mind, but I would prefer it if we kept the room the way it was."

"But I've already moved everything" whined Holmes

"Fine, I'll move only my chair, that seems fair seeing as it is mine"

Watson moved forward and started to move his chair but Holmes bounded forward, grabbing hold of it and shouting out to stop.

"Watson, don't move that chair!"

"It's my chair! I shall do what I like with it!" Watson retorted tugging the chair forward

"I'm warning you, Watson, don't move it!" Holmes replied pulling it back.

And so ensued a game of tug-a-war with Watson's poor seat.

So engrossed in their game were they that they did not notice Mrs Hudson enter the room.

With a long suffering sigh, she watched as they dragged the chair this way and that, glaring at each over and angrily snapping at the other to yield.

It wasn't until Holmes noticed Mrs Hudson that it stopped.

Watson, taking advantage of Holmes' momentary lapse in concentration, yanked his chair towards him causing Holmes to fall with a yelp.

Jumping up and scowling at Watson, Holmes eyes darted towards the large space on the floor where a large area of Mrs Hudson's carpet should have been.

Spotting the destruction of her precious carpet, Mrs Hudson shrieked and rounded on her two lodgers.

"Watson!" Holmes said quickly "look what you have done? You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"But.."

"No, no excuses!" He said "I believe Mrs Hudson has something to say to you so I shall leave for now,"

And with that he practically ran out of the door before he could face the wrath of Mrs Hudson.

Poor Watson was not so lucky.

"Doctor, how could you?!"

"Mrs Hudson, you don't honestly believe I did this, do you? It was obviously caused by that explosion earlier!"

"I think it much more likely it was caused by that childish game you and Mr Holmes were playing!"

"Mrs Hudson, I..."

"I expect such things from him, doctor, but I would have thought you knew better than to encourage him, and to actually participate! I am shocked, doctor, shocked!"

Watson nodded feeling like a schoolboy being scolded.

"And I expect something to be done about that" she said pointing to the lack of carpet.

"Yes, Mrs Hudson," Watson mumbled

"Good" she snapped and with that sorted she stormed out.

Tidying up the room, Watson had only one thing on his mind.

Woe betide Holmes when he finally returned!

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	11. a joke is a very serious thing

**Hello, I'm back! And I have a plan! I will be up to date soon, I promise, once school finishes for christmas I will have time to.**

**Prompt from MadameGiry25: A joke is a very serious thing.**

"Holmes, stop complaining! You have to admit that it was your fault"

Holmes groaned from his position on the coach

"It was quite idiotic of you, if I am honest," Watson continued "what did you expect to happen?"

"I didn't take into account how vicious you and Lestrade could be," Holmes sniffed "there was really no need,"

"You could have been anyone! We didn't know it was you!"

"Yes, but there was still no need for the both of you to spin around, punch me, pin me to the floor then handcuff me only realising it was me after you had dragged me to my feet."

"I suppose we could have been a bit less heavy handed" Watson laughed

"And now I am here bruised and tired and you two are non the worse for it. In fact, you seem to find some enjoyment from this whole disaster!"

"Stop feeling so sorry for yourself," Watson said "what have you got out of this? What have you learnt?"

"Nothing," replied Holmes mournfully "except that you and Lestrade are idiots of the highest degree, something I was almost sure of anyway,"

"No, don't go sneaking up on inspectors and ex army veterans when they happen to be having a conversation about the back stabbing murders!,"

"I'll keep that in mind" he said with a scowl before picking up his violin to let the world know of his sorrow

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	12. lily of the valley

**I don't have much to say except for thank you to everyone who takes the time to review or read this**

**Prompt from madameGiry25-Lily of the valley**

"Watson, I need you to do something for me," said Holmes handing him a list "find these,"

Watson looked curiously at the list "Holmes, why ever do you need flowers?"

"For a case, Watson, why else? Now, I don't care how you get them, buy them, borrow them. I believe next door have a hanging basket with an assortment of flowers that I'm sure would do perfectly..."

"Holmes, taking a neighbours plant secretly is not borrowing! I'll just buy them."

"As you like,"

Watson soon returned carrying the plants and confused.

"Holmes, I still do not understand. Why do you need these for a case?"

"Poison! I have reason to believe that it was from a plant and these were all the types found in the victims garden."

"Why didn't you take them from the garden, then"

"I tried" he replied "unfortunately, I was caught,"

Holmes set to work, testing each one and muttering to himself. Watson watched with curiosity as his friend eliminated each plant one by one.

"I knew it!" Holmes suddenly cried jumping up and scaring poor Watson.

"What? What was it?"

"Lily of the valley," Holmes called already running out the door

Watson looked around at the petals and stems of various plants scattered across the floor

"I guess I'll have to tidy up, then" he muttered and with a long suffering sigh set to work.

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